Teen Ambassador Blog- 'Just Keep Moving Forward'
Teens supporting teens with their mental health and wellbeing.teen
For my first blog post, I thought I would make it 'time appropriate' and start discussing some of the things I want to achieve in 2019, regarding my mental health.
Since 2016, my depression has 110% contributed to me not really taking opportunities, not being able to be independent and has stopped me from achieving some of the things I would have hoped to. 2017 and the start of 2018 were some of the most challenging times for me to have to cope with. I started to hear voices and hallucinate, my suicidal thoughts continued to become a part of my everyday life and my anxiety meant that I wasn’t able to sleep, leave the house, get in a car or socialise with the most important people in my life. All of these aspects contributed to me distancing myself and isolating myself from everyone in my life until I felt so alone that all I wanted to do was leave and not return.
I have been referred to many therapists and have seen numerous people about my mental health. I think it is important to know that I wanted to get help and I wanted to continue living, but if you have ever lived with depression or hearing voices, it becomes harder to keep telling yourself you don’t want to die. I started taking anti-depressants in August 2018 and have had the dosage increased twice since then too, but now I feel I am on the right track again. Don’t get me wrong , I still have bad days, and my sleep is continuing to trouble me. However, I know within myself that I feel better and I have pushed myself more in the last 4 months than I have since 2016.
I was able to travel to Nottingham alone to see my best friend at University! This is something that I never thought I could do, especially with how anxious I am on public transport. It was still difficult to get on the train alone but I told my best friend this and she came to meet me at Nottingham station. I was able to conquer my fear of blood tests and was even able to have one without having a panic attack. I have had two tattoos that mean so much to me and I have been able to go out more with friends and family. But more importantly, I survived another year, thanks to the people who have helped me so much over the last two years.
2019 is going to be the year I want to become more independent, I want to hopefully get a job again, I want to be able to face catching the train to University and most importantly I want to take care of myself first and foremost this year.
You are never alone. It might seem scary to start talking about your struggles, but once you do start to open up it only gets easier from there. My family and friends have been my support system and I cannot thank them enough for saving me.
Until next time, just keep moving forward.
Colour Your World Teen Ambassador
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